Minimum Safe Distance

[S] Enter.

That’s right, it’s the video for the end of MS Paint Adventures: Homestuck: Act III. And it’s even more awesome than the one for the end of Act II, if you can believe it.

I hope to god you’ve been reading this comic, because there’s no way I can manage a recap this time. Far too much has happened. Maybe read my recap for Act II, and then read all of Act III? C’mon, it won’t take that long, and it’s totally worth it.

Or I guess you can click this link, and get your summary there, such as it is, crust-dry wiki style and all. But what fun is that? Come on. Read the comic.

From, unsurprisingly, XKCD. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy self-reference?

I downloaded LEGO’s Digital Designer software with an eye toward making a digital representation of the Battlewalker, so I could have assembly instructions in case I wanted to rebuild it at a later date.

Of course, nothing is ever that simple.

This is Milo, mild-mannered ex-postman, who (along with his trusty dog Giblet) is in a race against time to recover the mystical Space Star Diamond Crystals before the evil Baron Clawhammer can get his claws and/or hammers on them.

It is possibly the most exciting LEGO set ever, and is comprised almost entirely of tiny detail pieces, which it turns out are the most expensive LEGO parts. Seriously, this is like a ninety dollar LEGO set — all those transparent bits are a killer. Really, though, can you truly put a price on awesomeness?

Rear view. I really like the detailing on the engine in back.

So I’d said I was going to build something that used all the pieces in the advent calendar, but that turned out to be not very feasible. The models it gives you are such little things — a toolbox, a traffic light, a legless park bench — that you don’t end up with enough large foundational pieces to make anything of any size; you’d end up with just a big jumbled pile, basically.

On the flipside, though, you get a ton of little detail bits, so you can make a small or medium-sized model really intricate. I expanded and improved upon the Battlewalker I made for Santa I mean Shaggy Harold. I think it turned out pretty sweet.

And then, on the 24th, a miracle occurred! Santa Claus came on his Battlecrawler tank to rescue all the good little boys and girls and save Christmas! Hooray!

Nah, just kidding. That’s Shaggy Harold. The basket on his back is for the heads.

Beset on three sides by the robots, the government soldiers, and Voldo’s crazed “Murderaniacs”, the crab-mutants bring out their secret weapon: Crrt’chk’kik’crrk, the Behemoth.

Yes, he has a magic wand. The only spell he knows is “Transmute Human Into Inside-Out Human”, but it’s a pretty good one.

Stun-pistol and chainsaw at the ready, Killbot V41 treads slowly but relentlessly toward its squishy human targets.

“Stun-pistol?” I hear you exclaim. “Surely such a machine would not be equipped with non-lethal weaponry!”

Of course not, don’t be silly. The stun-pistol is just to keep the squishies still while V41 uses the chainsaw.

Ralph was a normal guy. He had a normal family, a normal job, a normal life. But when a firefight between the crab-mutants and government soldiers broke out in Market Square, and Betty and little Ralph Jr. got caught in the crossfire, well, something in his brain just snapped. The ranks of Voldo’s mob increased yet again.

If you asked him, Ralph would tell you that axe-murdering isn’t all fun and games, but a lot of people need axe-murdered, and he has a job to do. And then he would axe-murder you.

Day 20: A scout robot cavorts near a fallen battle-standard. Whether the flag belongs to the crab-mutants, the oppressive government, the tiki heads, or Voldo’s merry band of insane freaks, none can say, but it’s obvious that the robots have won this round.