Minimum Safe Distance

I'm Riff. I'm a writer for a popular online game called Kingdom of Loathing. This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

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Mon Nov 17

People in Northrend

More holiday snaps!


This is Juniper (according to his nametag, anyway). I think he was some kind of ghost pirate, but possibly he’s just been eating too much cobalt ore. That stuff looks delicious, like blue raspberry Jolly Rancher crystals, but overconsumption can have serious side-effects. He certainly wasn’t very cheerful. Probably he had a tummyache.


Jenni had one too, from drinking too much information. Seriously, it was like magically-processed and encoded data. Like “Johnny Mnemonic”, kind of. “I want… room service!” God that was a stupid movie.

A cheerful walrus man riding on a cheerful turtle. I love the walrus guys, and this is one of the best things I’ve seen so far. I just know that these two are best friends. After a long day of pacing back and forth along a rigidly-determined path, they like to go back to the yurt and relax. Maybe share a bowl of fermented seal milk.


This walrusdude wasn’t as happy with his lot in life. He hated the fuck out of those fish. Seriously, you could hear him shouting “YARRRGH” and pounding the hell out of them from like the other side of the village.

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