I've gone back and tagged all the old Lego AdventUres posts, including the 2009 ones which weren't narrative, but became the backstory to 2010 Calendars B and C. So, if you'd like to revisit the old stuff, or read it for the first time if you're new 'round these parts, you can hit the 'advent' tag at the bottom of the sidebar.

Marty: "Nnnng. Ugh. What… where am I?"

Cindy: "You're in the hospital, Marty. You've been unconscious for more than a week. I guess going Super Saiyan takes a lot out of a guy."

Marty: "Super what? All I remember is Voldo attacking, and cutting your hand off, and then I freaked out and everything is a blur-- Oh god, your hand! Are you okay?"

Cindy: "Yeah, I'm fine. They gave me this bad-ass pirate hook."

Marty: "That is pretty bad-ass. So what happened?"

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*CLASH*

Cindy: "Jesus, how old is that loaf of bread?"

Femme de Pain: "Assez vieux pour écraser votre crâne, conasse!"

Cindy: "I didn't get a word of that, but I'm pretty sure you called me something I wouldn't like if I knew what it was."

Guy: "Eat stainless-steel travel mug, bitch! Bon appétit!"

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Hairbrush Santa: "Well, have fun, kid. Street-fighting's not really my bag, so I'm gonna find a hole to hide in and hope whoever's alive at the end of this needs a hairstylist."

Keith: "Okay, good luck. I'm gonna see if I can find my ear collection, and then get the hell out of here."

Roadblockbot: "DO NOT ENTER. NO PSYCHOS ADMITTED PAST THIS ARGH!"

Guy: "À la vôtre!"

Voldo: "Hissssssssss!"

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Voldo: "Hissssssss!"

Keith: "Help me out here -- who's the freak standing on that recycling bin?"

Hairbrush Santa: "Show some respect, fella! That's the big boss himself, Voldo!"

Keith: "Oh! Huh. Okay yeah, I probably could've guessed that."

Voldo: "Hisss gurgle hisssssssss!"

Keith: "Is this meant to be some kind of pep talk? What's he saying?"

Hairbrush Santa: "Haven't a clue, but I think the gist of it is 'Hey let's go kill the shit out of everybody!'"

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Marty: "Oh god I'm gonna die. We're all gonna die. Huuuurrrrrrl."

Cindy: "You can stop throwing up now, Marty. I've brought backup."

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Guy: "We are here to speak to the Free Man."

Janitor: "Hahaha, it's real cute how people call him that. He's not here, he went off with some girl and a singing robot."

Femme de Pain: "Un robot? Merde!"

Keith: "It's just as well, it's getting crowded as shit around here."

Hairbrush Santa: "Hey, aren't you James Lipton?"

Janitor: "The extremely handsome and distinguished television personality? Nope, I'm just a janitor!"

Hairbrush Santa: "Did you just wink at me?"

Janitor: "Nope! ;)"

Guardbot: "We're doing what? Where? With the who now?"

Cindy: "It's very simple. While the psychos deal with Ralph the Hatchet, we're going to go find the last guy they're after, and recruit him before they can."

Guardbot: "We're gonna recruit a psycho? Did you hit your head on something?"

Cindy: "This guy isn't actually a psycho, he just ran for with them for a while. I guess when the war first started, there were a few weird crab monsters that showed up with the robots? And this guy really hates crab monsters, I guess. So he fought with the psychos just so he could kill crab monsters, and then when he ran out of crab monsters he sort of wandered off."

Guardbot: "Is he good at fighting?"

Cindy: "Hairbrush Santa certainly seemed to think so."

Guardbot: "So where do we find him?"

Cindy: "All I know is that it's near a really retarded-looking traffic light."

Guardbot: "Here's a really retarded-looking traffic light."

Applepig: "Oink."

Applepig: "Oink?"

Cindy: "Oh my holy god it's Gordon Freeman."

Gordon: "…"

Keith: "So… who's this guy, again?"

Hairbrush Santa: "Ralph the Hatchet. His family got killed in the crossfire in the early days of the war, and it broke his mind."

Keith: "Ah, so that's why he's got a little sniper nest up in that clock tower."

Hairbrush Santa: "Yep."

Keith: "Except, he's armed with an axe, and not a rifle."

Hairbrush Santa: "Yep."

Keith: "Have the psychos ever recruited anyone intelligent? At all?"

Hairbrush Santa: "Just one. The last guy we're out here to recruit used to be a pretty brilliant physicist."

Keith: "Huh. Can he fight?"

Hairbrush Santa: "Buddy, he can fight like you wouldn't believe. Ho ho ho! There's no way we'll convince him to join back up, though."

Keith: "Well, that's just great."

Ralph: "Crap, I dropped my hatchet."

James Lipton: “Hello there, internetophiles! I’m celebrity host of Inside the Actors Studio James Lipton. I’m not actually here as part of this story, but since I happened to pop up in the calendar today, I thought I’d take this opportunity to tell you about a much better story, which Riff shamelessly ripped this idea off. Of. Off of which Riff ripped this idea. Shamelessly.”

James Lipton: “That story is the X-Entertainment.com yearly Christmas advent calendar, starring me! James Lipton! And some other people as well. Including a jolly fellow known as Mista Snowman, from whom the personality of Guardbot is pretty obviously stolen. Did I already use the word shamelessly?”

James Lipton: “Admittedly, there are two definite changes that Riff has made from the X-E formula: only having one picture per update, because he’s extremely lazy, and using his incredibly shitty iPhone 3G camera, because he’s incredibly lazy. So a least there’s that!”

James Lipton: “Here’s a link to the first day of 2007’s Advent Calendar. They are kind of a bitch to navigate, because it doesn’t seem like X-E’s Matt has made any provisions for easy post-event viewing, at least not any I’ve been able to find. But the URLs seem pretty standardized, and you can just change the year and day to move around.”

James Lipton: “So, in conclusion, if you have enjoyed this Lego AdventUre, I recommend you take a look at X-Entertainment as well. Thank you.”