IF Comp ’08: Lighthouse (spoilers)

Gee, this is a swell Foyer. It has a Front door, an iron door, a wooden door, and nothing else. I’m gonna love this game.

> open front door
“I don’t want to go out into the rain again!”

Aah! Who said that?

Living Room
You are now in the Living Room.

You can see a wooden door, a bed, nightstand (on which is a Brass key), and desk here.

> x desk
You see nothing special about desk.

> open desk
That’s not something you can open.

Then why is it even there? You obviously don’t give a crap about atmosphere.

Okay, okay. Getting vicious and mean. Not cool. Deep breaths.

> open container
It seems to be locked.

> unlock container
What do you want to unlock the small wood container with?

> key
Which do you mean, the Crystal key, or the Brass key?

> crystal
You unlock the small wood container.

> look in container
You can’t see inside, since the small wood container is closed.

Was this coded in Inform? It’s z-code. But last I knew, Inform did all this fiddly shit for you.

Be cool. Be like Fonzie. What’s Fonzie like? He’s cool.

You open the small wood container, revealing a button. What kind of button? I don’t know because You see nothing special about the button. Is it a shirt button? No, it’s a button I can take out of the wood container and then push. And the light comes on! I win!

THIS IS NOT A GAME THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME. WHY? WHY DID YOU SUBMIT THIS AAAAARGH

Addendum: It took TWO of you to write this??

“Aw, Riff! Don’t be mean! What if it’s, like, two little kids, and this is their very first IF coding experience! They’ll be all discouraged and never do IF again!”

AWESOME.

Addendum 2: Turns out xyzzyman is probably a little kid. I’m kind of a douchebag, huh? Oh well! Game still sucks. You’re not a bad person, Eric, but you wrote a very bad game. Also, Jenni points out that, based on the content of Eric’s blog, this game is probably a very bad allegory for Jesus or something. Now I hate it even more.

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