Lego AdventUres 02/27/11

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Guardbot: “We’re doing what? Where? With the who now?”

Cindy: “It’s very simple. While the psychos deal with Ralph the Hatchet, we’re going to go find the last guy they’re after, and recruit him before they can.”

Guardbot: “We’re gonna recruit a psycho? Did you hit your head on something?”

Cindy: “This guy isn’t actually a psycho, he just ran for with them for a while. I guess when the war first started, there were a few weird crab monsters that showed up with the robots? And this guy really hates crab monsters, I guess. So he fought with the psychos just so he could kill crab monsters, and then when he ran out of crab monsters he sort of wandered off.”

Guardbot: “Is he good at fighting?”

Cindy: “Hairbrush Santa certainly seemed to think so.”

Guardbot: “So where do we find him?”

Cindy: “All I know is that it’s near a really retarded-looking traffic light.”

Guardbot: “Here’s a really retarded-looking traffic light.”

Applepig: “Oink.”

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Applepig: “Oink?”

Cindy: “Oh my holy god it’s Gordon Freeman.”

Gordon: “…”

Gemini Rue

I just finished playing it, and I recommend it highly. It’s a classic-style point-and-click, with an excellent gritty noir sci-fi story, and a very nice art style — a sort of combination of straight pixel art and sketchy hand-drawn art converted to pixels.

I’m glad that pixel art is sticking around in the indie scene. I’ve always felt it was much more evocative then detailed high-res art. By just providing a sort of outline of what you’re looking at, it leaves you more room to fill in the rest with your own imagination, and that makes a deeper connection. You feel what things look like, instead of just seeing it, dig?

The voice acting is pretty terrible, at least assuming it doesn’t get any better after the first scene. I wouldn’t know, because halfway through the first scene I quit out to the options menu and turned it off. There’s all subtitles, though, so you’re not missing anything by turning it off.

If you’re a Mac user, good news! It runs flawlessly in Crossover Games and presumably regular old Wine. There’s a demo if you want to try-before-you-buy, just in case, but I didn’t have any problems.

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Keith: “So… who’s this guy, again?”

Hairbrush Santa: “Ralph the Hatchet. His family got killed in the crossfire in the early days of the war, and it broke his mind.”

Keith: “Ah, so that’s why he’s got a little sniper nest up in that clock tower.”

Hairbrush Santa: “Yep.”

Keith: “Except, he’s armed with an axe, and not a rifle.”

Hairbrush Santa: “Yep.”

Keith: “Have the psychos ever recruited anyone intelligent? At all?”

Hairbrush Santa: “Just one. The last guy we’re out here to recruit used to be a pretty brilliant physicist.”

Keith: “Huh. Can he fight?”

Hairbrush Santa: “Buddy, he can fight like you wouldn’t believe. Ho ho ho! There’s no way we’ll convince him to join back up, though.”

Keith: “Well, that’s just great.”

Ralph: “Crap, I dropped my hatchet.”

Hey Tumblr! Get bent!

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Welcome to the shiny new Minimum Safe Distance, powered by Posterous.

I’ve been increasingly annoyed with Tumblr — it is constantly going down, the html editing tools just don’t fucking work, and it’s been like that for ages with no sign of improvement. Oh but hey, they have a funny new picture for their “Our Server Is Down” page! Look, it has cute little monsters, and they’re — ha! ha! ha! — they’re eating the servers!

FUCK. YOU.

See that? That was the last straw. There it went!

I am liking this shiny new Posterous thing, though. It converted the whole Tumblr site in minutes, seems to have set everything up beautifully, I like the new visual theme a lot, and the editing and posting tools seem way slick. Plus it has integrated comments instead of having to deal with whateverthefuck I had to use on the Tumblr. Which means that comments on all the old posts are lost, but… oh well. We’ll make some new comments, right gang?

I might, if I get really bored industrious, even go back and add tags for all the old posts. It seems pretty simple! Remember the “tags under construction” in the sidebar in Tumblr? That was because it required some crazy bullshit I don’t even remember or care to go look up.

Anyway: the blog is dead! Long live the blog!

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James Lipton: “Hello there, internetophiles! I’m celebrity host of Inside the Actors Studio James Lipton. I’m not actually here as part of this story, but since I happened to pop up in the calendar today, I thought I’d take this opportunity to tell you about a much better story, which Riff shamelessly ripped this idea off. Of. Off of which Riff ripped this idea. Shamelessly.”

James Lipton: “That story is the X-Entertainment.com yearly Christmas advent calendar, starring me! James Lipton! And some other people as well. Including a jolly fellow known as Mista Snowman, from whom the personality of Guardbot is pretty obviously stolen. Did I already use the word shamelessly?”

James Lipton: “Admittedly, there are two definite changes that Riff has made from the X-E formula: only having one picture per update, because he’s extremely lazy, and using his incredibly shitty iPhone 3G camera, because he’s incredibly lazy. So a least there’s that!”

James Lipton: “Here’s a link to the first day of 2007’s Advent Calendar. They are kind of a bitch to navigate, because it doesn’t seem like X-E’s Matt has made any provisions for easy post-event viewing, at least not any I’ve been able to find. But the URLs seem pretty standardized, and you can just change the year and day to move around.”

James Lipton: “So, in conclusion, if you have enjoyed this Lego AdventUre, I recommend you take a look at X-Entertainment as well. Thank you.”

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Hey look over there!

Nothing? Okay I guess I was mistaken. Now check out this awesome video. I guess I should have more to say about it than that, but I don’t want to give anything away, you know?

p.s. You should probably click through to Youtube and watch it there, it comes in much higher resolutions.